Selfish and Selfless
by Baelparagon
Summary: Love can be both a selfless and selfish thing, be it romantic love or love of family. But like all human emotions, love has a darkside to it. Rated T for character death and slight gore. Takes place around season 3, though not exactly time correct. Characters are a little AU.


**Sorry to put my own story in so late, my computer crashed and I lost my document files. Trying to get them back but it doesn't look promising. So here's a one shot for now and if I have to I'll start retyping the next chapter of Daria's world. Also thanks to everybody who participated in my IC challenge, I loved all the stories. Oh and sections of this story are written in first person, so apologies if it seems confusing.**

**Selfish and Selfless**

I remembered when I was a child I asked her mother what love at first sight meant. My mother responded that love at first sight was something that happened very rarely, but when it did it was very special. She said in most cases it either referred to when two soul mates met each other for the first time, or when a parent saw their child for the first time. It was a feeling so wonderful that when you felt it you could actually feel the world move beneath your feet, and your world was never the same again. And finally she said it was both the most selfless and selfish thing a person could do, giving oneself freely while taking in all the other has to offer. Finished with the explanation mother dismissed me to get the table ready for dinner, expecting that the answer was satisfactory.

At the time I simply dismissed the answer as something grownups exaggerated or lied to us about. Like Santa Claus or the tooth fairy, I mean honestly feeling the Earth move under your feet, ridiculous. And how could your world suddenly change, the world was always the same? I even made a poem ridiculing the idea of true love, considering it to be a foolish notion. For years I felt this way, and even on the idea of soul mates I still believe the idea is unlikely.

In regards to love for a child however, looking back on it now I can't believe how much of a fool I was. That day at the wedding of my idiot niece when I watched her I felt an ache in me that I hadn't felt before. Whether it was watching her fool those dumb Texan girls or her ineffective reprimand of that pedophilic priest, I felt emotions run through me as I watched her. Respect, pride, longing, all of them and yet none of them at the same time. Then came the time when we actually talked together. She was funny and witty, but with a sense of realism mixed in that you couldn't find in teenagers this day, or any day for that matter. I felt pulled to this girl in her round glasses.

I felt other emotions at the time of course; my attention wasn't solely focused on the girl. I watched with dismay as my sister once again drank herself into a rage at a family reception. I felt disbelief as I watched the girl's purported sister purposefully ignore and deny the existence of a wonderful girl. I saw her father, and within seconds knew that the true loser he was had emerged from his so called hippie principals. I watched all of them, and then I saw her and I felt pain.

Even as I removed her from that catastrophe of a wedding and a **** heap of a family I felt pain well up inside me. We talked about a number of simple things while munching on cheese fries, but even for all the joy I felt in that conversation I couldn't suppress the despair I began to feel. It wasn't fair that a girl this wonderful should be stuck with such losers for family. It anger me that such wit and talent should go unnoticed by her parents in lieu of a teenage prima donna with no depth. And worst I knew Daria felt this to, she was smart enough to see that she would never be more than the awkward second child, and that hurt her. I knew because I had been her, and it was a lonely place to be. She had a friend who helped I suppose, but what she needed were parents who truly loved and cared for her, and Helen and Jake were at best failures at this.

It wasn't until we exchanged contact information and I returned to my lonely hotel room that I realized what I had been feeling. Maternal love, the kind that is unconditional and given so freely, just as my mother told me. For the first time in a long time I cried that night, probably the first time I had done so since father died. It wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair that Helen should have someone so wonderful and not appreciate her right. Daria deserved someone who wouldn't ignore her, who would listen to her and stroke her hair give her a chance at an actual future. It should be me watching over her, not that bitch of a sister. I could email her and give her advice, which I did for sometime, but eventually the pain of seperation became too much.

I guess that's why tonight I'm going to do what should have been done years ago. I'm going to give Daria the love and support she deserves to have. I can't do it in court though, Helen for all her failures was a master attorney and even with the borderline neglect and the barely functioning parenting, I'd never win. As a reporter of Sick Sad World I just couldn't compete. But for all my sister might have in book smarts and ambition, I more than outmatch her in cunning and ruthlessness. Plus, having a little help never hurts either.

* * *

Helen felt herself sigh as she drove downtown, it was just like Jake to have his car break down outside of town and not tell her till the last minute. Honestly she loved the man but felt like he was such a little baby at times. What did it tell you when the supposed man of the house was more of a child then her two teenage girls?

Helen shook her head a little in frustration, pretending to nod as Quinn prattled on in the background. She had picked up her daughter to take her clothes shopping (for the third time in a month) while Daria had opted out to go shoot some film for class with her friend Jane. While Helen was glad Daria was more social than before, she wished she could sometimes act like Quinn and be normal for a change.

Going down the road she saw Jake' Sedan sitting across the river by Bowery Bridge, the car just pulled off near the other side of the ravine. _How the hell did he break down…and why is he even out here in the first place?_ Helen thought with confusion as she drove down the bridge and pulled up next to him, seeing Jakes brown head poking up over the window. Helen for her part rolled down her window and looked out to him. "Alright Jake, I just drove thirty minutes to get here; the least you can do is wake up."

There was no response from the blue car. Nor any movement from Jake of any kind. _Jake if you're passed out again I swear I'm getting a divorce._ "Mom, why's daddy just sitting there?" Quinn asked in her usual annoyed voice, although there was a tremor of worry under there as well. "Don't worry dear; I'm sure your father is just napping like usual. Just wait one moment dear." Helen felt her irritation rise, undoing her seatbelt and stepping out of the car. Closing the door behind her she marched up to the blue Lexus and stared at her husband, whose head was tilted to the side. "Jake, wake up!" No response, now besides irritation worry was beginning to set in. Helen with trepidation in her throat reached forward and grasped the handle of the door and started pulling it open.

"Jake, are you alr-" The full weight of Jake's body slumped against the door, knocking her back on her but. Helen watched in horror as Jake half fell out of the car, arms hanging limp and caked with blood. The only thing more horrifying than the dead black pits in his eyes was the jagged tear in his throat, still leaking blood and gore down his front.

Helen opened her mouth to scream only to hear her daughter screech from the backseat. Helen began to get up to run back to the car when an arm wrapped around her throat and a surge of electricity was applied to her forehead. The last thing she heard as her body thumped to the ground was the sound of a car window being smashed in, followed by her daughters scream.

* * *

It was several hours later when Helen began to come to. With a groan she lifted her head from where it had been hanging. She went to open her eyes but closed them with a hiss, eyes seeing spots and her forehead killing her. She felt her arm try to reach up and rub her forehead, only to find her arm restrained. _What in the hell happened?_ Helen thought as she waited for the pain to fade.

Suddenly an image of Jake with his throat torn out flitted through her mind, and Helen in a great panic opened her eyes, ignoring the pain. Helen found herself back in her car, her arms held with bungee cords to the steering wheel. As she began to struggle against her binds she panicked as she saw Jake's body still laid out on the ground.

"JAKE, QUINN?! PLEASE ANSWER ME?" Hearing no response she began struggling even harder, not hearing the soft footsteps moving across the gravel.

"Oh dear Helen, you seem to be all tied up at the moment. I know that's usually your state of existence but I must admit, I bet you never thought it would be so literal." Helen stopped struggling, trying to look around, but couldn't due to the position of her arms. "Wh-who's there?" The voice gave a low chuckle behind and to her left, something that for her seemed really familiar to her.

"I'm hurt Helen, after all our years together I never thought you'd forget my line of comedy. I know you and Rita always complained about it to mother." With a few more steps the person stopped in front of the open door, Helen looked at her and gasped in surprised.

"Amy?" The brunette with the wavy hair smiled down at her sister, arms crossed over her chest. "And you win the 50 dollar question, ready for the next round?" Helen glared up at her sister, jerking her arms to draw attention to them. "This is no time for jokes Amy someone out there, they k-hurt Jake and Quinn…oh god Amy have you seen Quinn?"

Amy shrugged her shoulders, a sardonic grin appearing on her face. "If you mean in the last five minutes, then no I'm afraid I haven't seen Quinn. And as for Jake…well I think we can both agree he's well past the point of hurt." A cold feeling descended over Helen as she took in her sisters seemingly laid back attitude.

"Amy, wh-what are you doing here. Wh-what's g-going on? Is…Is this one of those stupid pranks, for that idiotic TV show you work for. OH WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE I AM GOING TO-"Amy shut her up with a hard crack across the jaw, Helens head whipping to the side. Once Helen got the spots out of her vision she looked up at her baby sister, the rage gone from her voice. "You, you hit me." It was more of a statement than an actual accusation.

Amy nodded her head, a cold smile setting on her face as she flexed her hand. "Yes I did Helen, I hit you. And I got to say you had that coming for years on end. To answer your question though, no this is not some skit for my work, nor is this being viewed by camera crews or a live national audience. Just you and me and this dead end road nobody has driven on for nearly thirty years." Helen stared at the woman in disbelief, her aching jaw now coupled with her splitting head ache. "Amy I-I don't understand."

"Ah, yes I imagine you might be a little confused at the moment. I mean with a throbbing jaw, a dead husband and a Taser burn on your head you must be pretty confused." At this Amy removed the black object from her pocket, pressing the buttons to make the device whir up a bit. Helen stared at this for a solid minute, neither sister saying anything as the sun continued to set in the distance. After a minute Amy put the Taser back in her pocket, her eyes looking down at her feet.  
"You…you're the one responsible for this aren't you? Why Amy? Why would you do this to me?" Helen asked, tears forming in her eyes.

Amy looked up at her, the smile having been replaced by a cold frown. "You think that Rita is mother's favorite, and you'd be right she was. But you were always father's favorite. It didn't matter what you did, how insignificant it was. He always looked at you with such pride and joy, and I'll admit I was jealous. After you left and started your life I was always reminded how I should be like you, how I failed to measure up. Eventually daddy just started ignoring me. I was so angry; I was determined to stay away from you, even at your wedding, even when you gave birth to…her."

Helen watched as a tear came to her sister's face, allowing it to fall free from her face. "That was my biggest mistake, not watching out for her and allowing her to be under your care. When we talked at the wedding I realized how special she is, and how miserable she is with you. I thought maybe she was exaggerating as teens are known to do, so I took my vacation hours and have been watching you for the past few months." Amy brushed the tear from her face, the frown returning in full force. "You and Jake should be ashamed to call yourselves parents."

"HOW DARE YOU?" Helen said in response, anger temporarily overwhelming her fear. "We love Daria and do the best we can for her. She has never been mistreated by us."

"Really? Than why do you always tell her she needs to fit in more, to change her appearance, to fit in? She told me when that psychological quack accused her of low self-esteem you didn't defend her, you said what is wrong with you? Our mother may have said these things about us, but only if she knew the accusations were true. What kind of mother hurts their child like that?"

"I would never hurt my child, you psychopath!" Helen growled from her tied up position. "YOU LEFT HER AND HER FRIEND IN THE MIDDLE OF A HURRICANE! For god sakes even Jake tried to help her, despite failing at it miserably. You just sat on your ass. So long as your perfect little girl was safe, what difference does it make if the oldest one is on her own?"

At the mention of Quinn Helens face grew ashen, realizing she hadn't heard her voice the entire time. "Look Amy, yo-your right, what I did is wrong but please, d-don't hurt my little girl. She's innocent of all of this."

Amy snorted at this, amusement replacing the anger on her face. "Innocent, that's a laugh. While I spent most of the time watching Daria I did spend time keeping tabs on all of you. If you could see some of the things your daughter gets up to, heh she makes Rita look like a saint. And in regards to her with Daria, she refuses to even acknowledge her existence."

"I swear Amy if you've hurt her Quinn or go near Daria I'll-"

"What will you do Helen?" Amy said, cocking her head as if hearing something approach. "You weren't there to help Daria and you can't stop me from doing anything. I assure you though, Daria will not be harmed, on the contrary I'll make sure she gets everything she needs. Love, affection, an actual chance at a good college and a good life. Everything you couldn't give her I will."

"And you think everything will be peachy after this? That Daria will be alright when she finds out what you've done?" Amy grinned at this, something that made Helens blood run cold. So much so that she didn't hear distinct pair of footsteps walking down the gravel road.

"There will be a grieving period sure, Daria for all your notions of being anti-social is one of the most compassionate individuals I've met. She'll miss you, but with her friend and me there to help her through this, she'll come out of it a stronger person. Besides neither she or the police will know I was involved, you forget I'm a reporter after all, if I can follow a lead I know well how to make them disappear. Besides, you're about to become the victim of a well-known local legend."

A man came up from around the car, blood covered shoes connected to a pair of black covered legs and a cheap dress shirt and tie. His white ragged hair was streaked with bits of leaves and blood, almost hanging over a pair of eyes that were bulged out like an owl. What drew Helen's attention was the pair of steel forged dentures and the familiar face behind it.

"m-Mr. Demartino?!" Amy chuckled, gesturing to the man. "Not quite, this is **Mr.**, Mr. Demartino, your daughter's teacher's supposedly dead father. Although he's better known as Metal mouth. When I was just starting out in the reporter business he was one of the first cases I got. I managed to track him down, but no one would believe me at the time. Fortunately he convinced me not to turn him in, promised that he could be useful to me one day. And lo, and behold he was right."

Amy turned away from Helen, hand going back into the pocket with the Taser. "So, where's my little niece?" A harsh chuckle responded back to her, Helen feeling tears spring to her eyes as she heard him speak. "I'm **AFRAID** that Ms. Morgendorffer was as lax in her attention in being **SCARED** ****less as she did in my son's **CLASS**. She ran out onto the high way, I doubt **SHE** even noticed the **BUS** before it ran her over. **HAHAHAHAHA!"**

Helen felt the wind go out of her, grief and rage welling up inside of her as the tears spilled out. She struggled against her bonds aggressively, yelling incoherently as she tried to break free so she could tear the two apart. Amy and Metal mouth simply watched her, the latter tilting his head like a dog might. Even as her wrists began to bleed from the ropes, she couldn't break free.

"I SWEAR AMY; I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL FOR THIS! DAMN YOU, GOD DAMN YOU BOTH!" At this comment Amy simply turned away, looking over her shoulder as she walked away. "I don't believe in hell Helen, and deep down neither do you. Goodbye sister, leave no evidence behind okay M."

Helen stopped at this, her eyes quickly turning from her sister to the deranged man who had suddenly appeared in the spot next to the car door. He lowered his head down, bits of flesh hanging from the spikes In his dentures. "**Girls just want to have fun, oh girrllls…" **

Amy could hear Helens screams of terror before they were suddenly cut off by a wet ripping sound.

* * *

Amy stood nearby in the woods, a small cigarette held in her hands as she waited. Eventually Metal mouth came bounding up the path, a piece of Helen's shirt hanging from his jaws.

"Is it done?" Amy asked, taking a puff from her cigarette through the filter. The man nodded, the piece of clothing dropping from his mouth. "Yeah, it's done, so I can assume we are even now?" Amy nodded, pulling the cigarette from her mouth and offering it to the man.

"Yeah, we're finished here. Once the heat starts up you go back into hiding, and keep in mind what'll happen if you mention me." The old man rolled his eyes, pulling the filter of the cigarette and jamming it between his teeth. "You don't have to worry about me lady, I can keep a secret." He took a long hard puff from the white stick, feeling the chemicals go into his bloodstream.

"I know you can, as a matter I'm counting on it." The old man looked at her suspiciously, going to ask what she meant when he felt his heart seize up in his chest. He wheezed out, the cigarette shooting out from between his lips. With a hand clutching over his chest he stumbled forward towards Amy. The woman simply watched him with a smirk as he fell down to the ground, hand clutching forward weakly towards the woman. Amy walked forward and kneeled in front of him, pulling the cigarette from where it was on the ground.

"I'm sure by now if you can hear me you realize the cigarette was not good for you, not that one ever is. Thank god I gave up years ago." Saying this she took a small bag out of her pocket, putting it in there with the Taser and a pair of gloves and ski mask.

"You also must be wondering why I haven't fallen over, we'll let me explain. What you breathed in was a highly concentrated dose of potassium chloride, one of the three key ingredients to the lethal injection. In small or filtered doses like I was taking, it can cause relaxation and the heartbeat to slow down. However in larger doses or in those with heart conditions or the elderly, aka you, it can be quite lethal and incredibly difficult to detect. They'll think the adrenaline of your latest kill caused you to have a heart attack, not surprising. considering your age. I doubt they'll ever run a toxicology test."

The old man growled up at her, weakly snapping his dentures at her, Amy just out of his reach. Putting the bag in her pocket she stood up and looked down at him, even as the man's thrashing slowed down.

"When the police search this area they'll find you, not in time to save you but enough time for me to get back to New York. The newspaper will talk about your last rampage, while the police begin to search for your home as well as begin looking for your other victims. While they'll find plenty of the latter but not the former, since I burnt down the derelict hovel after I sent you here. While the reporters will be asking everyone and there grandmother about the murder, I'm afraid I'll be unavailable for comment, due to the death of my sister. Quite the sad story no?"

The man gargled a little, bile and froth forming at his mouth. With a last surge of strength he thrust himself forward trying to grab her. Amy calmly stepped out of the way, watching as he rolled to his back and began to convulse. "You don't agree, well just think about it. I'm sure you'll come around to my way of thinking." The man gave out a last croak before he fell back, his head lolling to the side.

"Hmm, I guess not. Oh well, see you on CNN." Turning around she walked the two miles to her car. Driving the six hours necessary to get home. It might have taken four hours if she took the normal route, but that would have been on the interstate with cameras. When finally the trip was over she entered her small apartment, went into the bedroom and passed out. The next day she disposed of the evidence in a dumpster, and went about her usual day.

* * *

It was two days later that I got the call from the local police. They told me Daria had reported her family missing the next morning, the police put that and the dead hit and run girl together. When that occurred the police had eventually found the car and the assorted bodies, including Metal mouth. Feigning surprise and grief I asked them where Daria was. They said she was staying in the police station until they had all their information and had consulted Helen and Jake's will. I wasn't concerned about this, Helen had informed me that she had Rita and I listed as the two possible guardians for Daria. And I very much doubted that Rita would want to give up her care free bachelorette life and raise another child. After all, she hadn't wanted to raise Erin and she was her flesh and blood.

After a few hours of driving I got to Lawndale and went into the police station, where I was escorted to the visiting room Daria was waiting in. Before going in the captain told me a few things about the crime, nothing new to me, but he did assure me that the killer hadn't gotten away with it and had perished not long after. With crocodile tears running down her cheeks she thanked the man for his kind words, then wordlessly entered the room.

Entering the room I saw Daria just sitting there, sobbing noises coming from her as she was being held by a girl in a red shirt and black hair, her face pressed into the girls shoulder. This had to be Jane that Daria mentioned earlier. Despite having come in Daria didn't seem to notice me, though Jane waved her over, evidently having been told she was on the way.

The sight of my soon to be ward nearly broke my heart, and for the briefest of moments I felt regret, not for what she did to I family, but for the pain I caused Daria. With real tears running down my face I approached the two, nodding to the girl holding my niece. Then with a shaky hand I reached forward, laying it gently on her shoulder.

Daria slowly turned her head to see who was touching her, when she caught sight of me she almost lunged at me, her face pressing into my chest as she cried. Pulling her close I held her, sitting down next to her and rubbing circles in her back. She tried to speak, but between the sobs and the proximity it was hard to understand.

"I know Daria, I miss them too. I promise you Daria you're not alone, I'm here for you and I always will be." Daria only cried harder, her grip tightening on me as I held her closer. The guilt I felt increased for the briefest of moments, and then vanished as I held her in my arms, this girl my child in everything but birth. The other girl had tears in her own eyes, sitting on the other side of the girl.

At this moment I thought about what my mother said, when she said that love was both selfless and selfish. I realized then at that moment that I was the most selfish person on the planet, and if there was a hell I was likely going to it. Looking down at the girl I was holding, the one I considered like a daughter and would treat and love like one, I only thought one thing.

Whatever price I might have to pay, it was worth it.


End file.
